"Not all who wander are lost"
From an early age I was-by nature-very curious and I like to left the beaten
Paths to explore the unknown. I was very happy in woods, dunes or on the beach
of Scheveningen, where I lived. There I felt tremendously connected to the silence and the
Power of nature and I came home as it were. Partly due to the intense experience of
Information from the outside I was lovely to get to places where I don’t have too much
was exposed to these stimuli. If only I was outside and could move!
At school I certainly felt no ‘ fish in the water ‘. I felt trapped and limited in
My freedom of movement, and the teaching material, in most cases, did not bowed me at all. I found
It’s very tricky to concentrate and connect with the classmates. I felt
Me an outsider.
After a number of schools ‘ visited ‘ I entered the world (or ‘ pushed in ‘,
I learn later) and I have had the most diverse jobs. The first real job was that
Of the professional soldier at the Air mobile Brigade. This new ‘ elite ‘ country power component
Turned out to be looking for people who would have liked to push mental and physical boundaries.
After a half-year trial, I was finally allowed to enter the coveted red beret
Receive and carry. After my appointment I have served for six years and many beautiful
and ground-breaking activities such as scuba diving, climbing and parachuting, and
I came across exercises in many countries.
In the period I worked for defense I met my first teacher on my path.
A meditation teacher who taught me the value of meditation and Zen Buddhism but
Also, time and time again, stressed the importance of psychotherapy and reading
Housewarming fairy tales.
Meditation is, to this day, a hugely valuable gift for me. I discovered
The richness of meditation and increasingly learned to, in the hustle and bustle, the silence in myself
Save. It also gives me insight into the fact that I am not my thoughts, but something that
Much more spacious and freer. I participated in many retreats, stayed in several monasteries
And met many inspiring teachers. But there was for my development and ‘ home
Come ‘ more needed. And that was, as I had previously been pressed to heart, therapy and
After the army came the fire again on my path (not for the first time however, I have a big
For the love of fire and so I have once again ignited this in my childhood.
After a very extensive selection procedure I was accepted to my great joy. After
I was trained as a firefighter during a heavy training at the Royal
Marine trained to fire diver.
I have experienced it as a very special profession in which I have been allowed to learn a lot and
Nice experiences, but also very tragic incidents have experienced. The work
Were very diverse, but the saving of man and animal was always paramount.
In addition, the role of dive instructor was an extra specialism, in which I
Colleagues had to train to fire diver. A very versatile profession!
‘ The knock on the door ‘
During this phase in my life, however, I did not feel very much
Removed myself. I was not happy, very searching and gave myself more and more to the
Enticements of the world to name it. I was not what you call a model of virtue. I led a life
Between extremes and walked many paths. Towards the light, but also the darkness.
In 2010, “The Knock on the door” came to me, literally and figuratively. After nearly twelve years as
Have functioned and figuratively burnt out, it would not be long before the
Take more before I was literally extinguished by the life I led. A
Deep fall, disabundated, what now?!
“Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were
Only Walls “
At the very beginning of ‘ My Journey ‘ I found this very important quote from Joseph
Campbell. This gave me the support and inspiration that was more possible than I did at that time
Could see. Later I would only realize what much described ‘ journey ‘ at that time for me
I then stood for a choice, applying and again doing something in which I would not be at home
Feel, or trust, that existence would take care of me and I could make the time to
To do what was good for might. And I chose the latter.
So I learned how the existence you are always helpful, if you can see it and you open it up for it
can set. I learned that when doors close, there are also new and at that time
Still unknown doors open. Even though you might be there at the moment
Not aware of it.
On the new path that appeared before me, I was given the opportunity to discover much more about myself and ‘ existence ‘. During the Primal Rebirth therapy Training (body oriented psychotherapy) at the Aumm Institute I learned about the emergence of limiting beliefs about myself that I had always believed in. And about the survival strategies that were created in my early childhood.
In My development process it became increasingly clear to me how much I contacted my
Body and my actual feelings and needs and how long I have been from my
Head and willpower (over) lived. I also saw my fragility around my manhood,
My uncertainty and the competition with other men, but above all also my desire
To connect with others. The insight into my ‘ way of life ‘ until then, and experiencing
Of the lack and the pain of unfulfilled needs, had never been so great.
I had a lot of experience with not being vulnerable dare. Totally not in touch with my
Feelings and with it with myself. Now I know that has brought me nothing but pain and
Alienation from myself and others. I have done a lot, everything to be fragile but not
Need. Actually quite alone, without really realizing it.
I began to understand where my anger, frustration and resistance came from and
Which was never shown much understanding. The genesis of many conflicts
Which I have had because of my rebellion. I trusted no one, found myself better, or
Less and this made me becoming an outsider.
Strength, and fragility
A tremendous liberation has arisen by gaining an increasing understanding of the emergence of
The negative beliefs, which I have long believed in. And realizing that they have nothing with me
Have to deal with. By gaining an increasing understanding of the child I used to acknowledge, I
With a more mature consciousness is getting better which is good for me, and what not. The
Survival strategies are no longer needed, the ‘ armor ‘ that I used to protect and
Had built up distrust, is still melting, my heart opens again…
My personal process was a time-and-wide frontier, hard and lonely
Discovery trip to what I was looking for for so long, the natural and
Uninhibited child in myself, my essence. And with the knowledge, the power and the fragility
From the adult in me I step back into the world to all the learned, the knowledge and
Qualities that have led to my years of experience and learning, in the
With an ever fuller confidence in myself, others and the natural flow of life,
I continued to surprise my unique path. A path on which I have my individuality, my
Truth and inspiration at every step can and should be transferred more and more to the
For many years I had to spend the same, to lose my mind, to learn the thinking, to Unity to forget. Is it not so, as if I were slowly on, along great detours, of a man re Become a child, of a thinker re a child man?
And yet this road has been very good, And yet the bird in my chest has not died. But what a road it was!. I am through so many Stupidity, by so much vice, by so much error through so much disgust and disappointment and misery Must go, only to become a child again and to start again.
But it was Well, my heart says yes, and my eyes laugh at it. I had to make the despair, I had to so deep sinking to the most foolish of all thoughts, to the thought of suicide, to Grace Be able to experience the “Aum”, to be able to sleep more To be awakened. I had to become a fool, to get Atman in my inner Find.
“Where can this road still take me? He may walk, if he wants, I will go him ”
– Hermann Hesse | Siddhartha